Hi, I am Stu and I have been working as a therapist and counsellor in Australia and Thailand as well as online for the last 15 years. I have several speciality areas in my practice:
My speciality is either working with addicts and alcoholics one to one with their specific goals in mind or scheduling a limited number of sessions to assess the level of addiction being dealt with and referral to the most appropriate service or treatment center if needed. I take into consideration gender, drug of choice, sexual orientation, mental health concerns, secondary addictions, time limitations, and financial restraints. I work from mostly an abstinence perspective which means that I will often request a client attend 12-step meetings as an extra resource and support.
Over the last 15 years, I have worked extensively with gay men and the challenges they face in regard to Chemsex. I am myself a Chemsex survivor so I bring my life experience, knowledge, empathy, and understanding to our counselling sessions with you.
Because I have worked in eight different drug rehabilitation centres and many “men only” facilities and had a private practice in Melbourne and Sydney for the last 15 years my second area of expertise is working with heterosexual men and the issues they face around relationships, addiction, sexuality, work issues, identity and so on. I would say that I have equal experience working with heterosexual men as gay men and MSM and my experience is that many straight men find it easy to talk to me about their challenges and concerns and allow themselves to be candid and vulnerable in our sessions.
Four years I ago I became qualified in treating sex addiction using the Patrick Carnes model and IITAP. I have worked with many sex addicts predominantly men but also some women to help them develop awareness and understanding of their sexual behaviours, where they come from and how to heal from the debilitating challenges of dysfunctional repetitive sexual behaviours.
Not many people let alone therapists understand the complex dynamics of attachment issues such as love addiction and love avoidance. This is a phenomena that I also have a lived experience of and it is what also prompted me to complete my major research project or “literary review” in my Gestalt Masters qualification -how to apply gestalt therapy principles to attachment theory. Love addiction and love avoidance usually come into play when dysfunctional patterns emerge in how we become attracted to other people and how we establish these relationships. You will find more on the love addiction on the dropdown page.
Many people in therapy circles in society use this phrase and often I believe don’t truly understand its exact meaning. Some definitions include how one person over functions in a relationship or a family system while others under function and this phenomena can be characterised by rescuing behaviours care taking behaviours, people pleasing behaviours, having no boundaries or having loose boundaries, having walls up, not knowing how to self-care adequately, not knowing how to self regulate properly, having low self-esteem, continually seeking approval from others and if not getting that approval feeling inadequate and many other behaviours. I believe most people in society have a degree of codependence and when it needs to be looked at is when we are in pain or feel unhappy in our relationships not just romantic but with friends with work mates, with parents too.
Codependence can manifest in all kinds of relationships. More in the codependence drop-down box.
I have always been interested in grief and loss not only how it in applies to the death of a loved one or losing someone through a relationship but how it also applies to letting go of parts of our lives or parts of ourselves, letting go of an addiction or the addiction lifestyle, the death of a pet, grieving missed experiences in our lives, the death of a pet, the loss of a limb or organ and much more.
After being a therapist for five years my best friend died overseas and I went through an intense grieving process. His death was sudden and unexpected. This happened just as I was studying grief and loss as well. I watched myself go through many phases of grief and mourning in a short space of time. I studied the many models of grief that have been created over the last 100 years. I was struck by how useful it was to understand these processes and how they supported me through my own grief. Many people who do not understand grief will unconsciously try to cope by using drugs and alcohol or many other coping mechanisms that ultimately slow down the journey to acceptance and peace. Through this particular experience, I became more interested in “how we grieve and how can we grieve more effectively” and as a result, I have worked with many clients on grief and loss in my practice.
In 2022 after working as a psychotherapist for 15 years I decided to get my Supervision certification. Being a supervisor means that I can work with other therapists to offer suggestions, give them direction, offer support, challenge them around the ethical practices, explore their self care rituals and if they are working in balance as well as share my experiences from my years of being a clinician. If you are a new therapist, especially in the areas of the LGBTIQ issues, gay men’s issues, drug addiction, and or chemsex contact me for support and supervision.
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